Posts by Freedom Fighter

It took me at least a couple of years to fade away. I tried to establish a pattern of missing meetings, not bothering with field service, finding other things to do at meeting times.

It was scary - I worried that when I finally made the break I would get bombarded by JWs demanding to know why I didn;t want to be a part of the organisation any more. No -one bothered and no-one called, although I am sure it must have caused my mum significant humilation. She has never said anything about it to this day. I know that this is not typical - maybe I was one of the 'pleb' class who are dispensible!

I would advise anyone to simply stop attending, don't explain anything, don't get yourself d'shipped. It's a free country - if you don't want to gp anymore just stop - these people have no right to demand explanations or make you follow their procedures.

Don't lose heart - once you get over the first hurdle you'll wish you had done it earlier!

Best wishes

FF

32

Were You Filled With Guilt During Your Witness Days???

by minimus in

jw
friends

i was seldom guilty because i was a "good" jw.

most of the witnesses i knew always seemed to be guilty about one thing or another....were you one of those??

?

Freedom Fighter

All the time! I always felt like a double agent as I had a 'wordly' life as well as a JW one. No matter how I tried, I knew that I was being a hypocrite and couldn't live up to the impossibly high behavioural standards.

I also felt a lot of guilt that I prefered worldly people and activities and found the meetings etc a crashing bore. As for field service, well, I hated every minute of it. Sure adds up to a lot of guilt !!!

It's all gone now tho!

FF

21

How do most of you....

by TallTexan in

handle being called on by jw's in service?

do you try to 'show them the light' or just be polite, or even angry?

also, i heard it rumored once that the local cong's kept a file on all 'apostates' in their territory and wouldn't let the publishers call on them for fear of them being 'turned'.

Freedom Fighter

My mother is a JW so luckily our door nearly always got missed! However, one day two from the oddball section decided to knock on our door. It must have been a big target week - household with one faded away daughter and non - believing husband must have been worth double points!

Anyway, my dad went to the door and as soon as I heard the phrase -' You don't want to live on a Paradise Earth with no pain and suffering?!!' rising to a crescendo I couldn't help but laugh.

I usually find that a quick thanks but no thanks does the trick.

36

how does everyone else cope with being shunned by family?

by nb-dfed in

i am a newbie to the site.

i was born an raised a jw.

shortly after marriage, my husband and i decided we no longer wanted to be part of the organization.

Freedom Fighter

It's this kind of thread that really makes me angry. In the media Jws are depicted as harmless buffoons which everyone can laugh at. The reality is a lot more sinister and the pain caused by the organisation scars people for life -as shown on these posts.

We had one d'fd sister at our KH who still attended meetings and every week she put herself through the humiliation of being 'blanked' by everyone. I could never reconcile this with an organisation who made such a big show of brotherly love and higher standards than the so called ' worldly' churches.

I was never d'fd - I never got baptised because my heart was never in it, but I did fade away, never to return. The only family member that was a JW is my mother, who still attends faithfully. I have been very lucky as she has never shunned me and has always treated me as her daughter first and foremost, but her JW faith does cause tensions between us. I had always led a double life as a JW and built up a group of friends who were 'worldly' and had no idea of my JW life. This eased things a lot for me as I broke away.

What did hurt was that my mother's JW friends actively ignored me, or passed me in the street, but I didn't care, that served to strengthen my conviction that leaving was the right thing to do. I always made a point of informing my mother of each event, just to illustrate the hypocrisy of her so -called Christian sisters. Even now, I make sure I plant a lot of seeds in her mind about people that she talks about in the KH, as I know a lot more of what went on over the years than she does. This is a constnt process to try and wean her away subtely.

I know you must be in a lot of pain nb - and I wish I knew the answer. All I can say is that always remember you have done the right thing and there is always hope that your family will see through the JWs for what they are - it will take a while but is worth pursuing.

Lots of love to ya - FF

5

COME ON ENGLAND!!!

by yxl1 in

just thought it needed to be said...

Freedom Fighter

Forgive my devilment.......a little joke.

News headlines. There have been widespread reports of heavy flooding all over Scotland on Sunday night. This was due to the Scots p.....g themselves after the England V France game.

Sorry guys - couldn't resist it and yes I know Scotland aren't there!

33

Ever start a BS?

by PopeOfEruke in

did anyone here ever start a bible study while out in field service?

from scratch, all by themselves?.

i had a couple of studies but never started one from cold.

Freedom Fighter

My mum and her old " Dub Dame " friends would often find themselves bible studies who needed looked after! These people included alcoholics and long term disabled. Instead of being taught the bible, the Dub dames would spend their time doing these people's housework and solving their domestic problems like unpaid social workers.

I will also never forget being dragged along to one of these studies when the householder was so drunk they fell asleep during the first chapter of the paradise book! But don't worry! It took more than that to dissuade a Dub Dame!

63

What first gave you doubts ?

by rick1199 in

we all know the big problems with the wts, but what was the first thing that made you realise there were problems with the organisation ?

with me it was realitivly small stuff like an 8 year old getting baptised and a comment my best mates made about another of our friends asking if we should be hanging round with her as she might be bad assciation (she had just been reproved, but they had been mates 20 years).. .

how ever the first time i ever thought something was really wrong was when i was about 11 and my grand farther died, and mu mum wouldn't go to the funeral, i remeber thinking that surely it was better to say good bye properly than worry about if the service was in a church.. .

Freedom Fighter

One of the first things that always disturbed me was the way one particular woman was treated at the KH. I was a young child at the time and couldn't understand why no -one spoke to this lady at the hall. I didn't realise that she had been disfellowshipped and part of her so called upstanding Christian family ignored her. Despite this treatment she still attended meetings without fail. Her terrible crime? She couldn't quit smoking!

The hypocrisy regarding materialism was also a major factor. There were quite a few brothers who owned their own businesses and they could drive around in flash cars and live in big houses without reproach, whilst FF the pleb was frowned upon for expressing a desire to get a university education. New brothers who had money quickly accelerated through the ranks even though they had not been JWs for very long.

Finally, the poor repressed teenagers! Nearly all the JW teens that I knew were desperate to drink, get laid and behave like normal kids instead of being placed in the JW moral strait jacket. They had one face for the KH and another for the outside world. So much hypocrisy, gossipping and back biting. All the pieces in the jig saw all began to fit and I am so glad I fitted them together fairly quickly!

15

Took the next step....

by confusedjw in

okay as my jwd friends and acquaintances know i'm trying for "the perfect fade", because family is in etc etc .

but i've just taken some "bigish" steps for me.

(babysteps in reality i suppose.

Freedom Fighter

I spent a large part of my childhood in the JWs. When I became a teenager I realised that this was not for me. I was dreading telling my mother I no longer wanted to attend meetings, go on field service etc. I imagined that there would be an almighty uproar from the elders and others who would camp out at my house and try and persuade me to return.

You know what? - Never happened. I attended meetings, I stopped, I was forgotten about. The dreadful scenes I expected never materialised. I had achieved the perfect fade! Luckily my father has never been involved with the JW's and has always said that if he had realised what they were all about he would have stopped me going earlier, as well as forbidding my mother to go.

I am very lucky that my mum has never treated me badly since I quit the JWs, and my heart goes out to those who have been shunned by their families. Mum and I are still close, and to be honest I think she still attends the Kingdom Hall out of habit more than anything else.

I am so pleased to have found this site and want to help others escape the clutches of this despicable organisation.

40

How many of you gave up a college scholarship?

by codeblue in

how many of you gave up a college scholarship to appear "spiritual"?

jt's thread about "homegrown lawyers" and the wtbs willingly sending certain ones to college started me thinking about that question.

i know i for one, relinquished that scholarship to show how "spiritual" i was at 18. .

Freedom Fighter

This reminds me so much of my own experiences as a young teenager. Aspirations to go to university or get a well paid job were really frowned upon. After all, time not spent pioneering is wasted time, eh folks?

This did not sit well with me at all - I wanted to go to university and have a career. I was really angry that this imminent Armageddon was going to happen and screw up all my plans! I remember one of the elders in the my hall had a daughter who defied her father and went to university instead of the blessed pioneer route. As a young teenager I was struck by her determination to stand up for herself and go her own way. Naturally she was shunned by her father. However, by this time this had only confirmed to me that the rot had set in to my JW faith a long time ago and gave me the push I needed to get the hell out!

I went to university and got myself a satisfying and professional job - thank goodness I was able to cram all this in before the Big A!